Tonametl: The words

En el post anterior sobre Tunaman, explicaba que Alex Cruz escribe en un español a veces incomprensible, pero eso es nada cuandoa se pone a "escribir" en inglés.
Como saben, Alexito clama que los malosos de Marvel Comics le robaron el diseño de su Tonametl para crear a "Ethan", un guerrero espacial que solo apareció una vez en Spiderman porque, bueno, era muy chafa. Aun así, fue a hacer un borlote a los foros de Newsarama, la popular página de cómics.
Pues bien, Alex desconoce el idioma de los gabachos, pero sabe bien utilizar esa maravilla moderna llamada Babel Fish. Con ese super-traductor de internet, Cruz se puso a denunciar el robo, aunque su inglés deja mucho, mucho que desear.
En este legendario tema, Alex clamaba justicia:

Unfortunately the design of our character “TONAMELT The Dark Protector / Ociel Sanchez” character standard of our rising publishing house “AC Amazing Comic” appeared in the pages of Marvel Knights Spiderman #17 in a cameo with Spiderman. The character in question is the one known as Ethan, and apparently in that volume the character changes the design of his costume to assume a rough copy of our design of the Tonamelt character. Cameos that bear the design of recognized characters of a comic are one thing; these are more a form of recognition. It’s another thing to use the influence of recognized individuals to evolve those ideas in the design of a new character; and very different to clone a design, simply reconfiguring the original design along a few rough lines, to free it from the threat of a complaint for plagiarism, based on an analysis of converging lines made by an expert of the Copyright Office. The case of Tonamelt is a direct plagiarism of the mask’s design composition, which is quite unique and distinctive of the Tonamelt character. There has never been a mask like this for any character before now.

Okey, hasta a mi me marea leer eso. Los foreros norteamericanos de Newsarama virtualmente trituraron a Alex, quien, al no comprender el inglés, siguió posteando como si nada, soltando algunas perlas ya famosas:

I do not want to lose my credibility like writer and designer of characters before of the readers of comics (when my comic be published) and that they thinks that the design of my character is a clonage of design of a character generic of 3 row of Marvel Comics. Instead of an interesting evolution of the urban concept of dark watchman.

Cuando criticaron sus diseños de niño de kinder, respondió:

"The important thing is that it desing has a different composition (with its influences). But is your opinion and I respect its point of view.

Tan-tan.
0_0"

Después de ser usado como piñata por cinco páginas, se apareció en el tema el escritor de cómics Peter David (aquí leímos un poco de él durante la saga de The Other).
Con gran ternura, David le da a entender a Alex lo ridículo que es su personaje y bueno, su forma de "promocionarlo":

Okay. Then I offer two pieces of advice, and understand I say this with no hostility. Take the advice, don't take the advice, it's up to you:

1) Change his name. I don't care what the name actually means; to an American audience, it reads like "Tuna Melt," which is a sandwich where you melt cheese on tuna.

2) Don't run around to message board after message board (I see you're over on Comicon as well, and lord knows where else) shouting "plagiarism" when the odds are gargantuan that it's simply coincidence. It makes you look amateurish and foolish. Coincidences happen. Believe me, I know. You're talking to the guy who had to endure YEARS of fans shouting that my run on "Supergirl" was ripping off Joss Whedon, even though I was developing characters and concepts before episodes of "Buffy" were on the air. Your character wasn't ripped off. Coincidences happen. You should find a way to deal with that simple fact other than assuming the worst of people. That's all I'm saying. PAD


Uno creería, que por puro orgullo, Alex dejaría de jorongar en los foros gringos y se conformaría con que sus paisanos lo patearamos, pero no. Abrió otro tema idéntico en Newsarama, ahora quejandose sobre el diseño de NOVA, que, por alguna razón misteriosa, se parecía al de Tonametl. ¿El resultado? Volvió a explicar el orígen de su mono, así.

Tunamelt, very fanny. Tonamelt or Tonametl in Nahuatl language to mean sun ray, Tona = Sun and Melt = Ray and to take that name because there is a said in Nahuatl language that says: "After of a dark night always appear a ray of the sun." is not the said "With great power must come great responsibility" of Stan Lee but is a good said.

Jajaja.... perdón. El caso es que alguien le hizo notar a Alex que Nova tenia su diseño característico desde hace al menos 15 años, mucho antes que los hongos alucinogenos dieran forma a Tonametl y "el piquito de su mascara", que es en sí, el gran plagio del que se queja Alex Cruise.
No le quedó de otra que aceptar que su queja sobre Nova era estupida e infantil, pero siguió friegue y friegue con Ethan. Eso sí, jamás sintió la necesidad de aprender inglés (o leerlo al menos) y cuando alguien se lo hizo notar, respondió:

Okay my friend shakespearian, my english is more bad that the spanish of one gringo buying eaten in a beach of Can-Cun, but it was an entertained conversation.

Como es predecible, la burla prodiguió por páginas y páginas, hasta que Peter David se volvió a meter, más por piedad que por colaborar:

Oh God...the Tuna Melt guy is back. Look, please...stop. Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself. It is insane to assert that Nova, a character designed thirty one years ago by the late, great John Buscema--who has more talent now, dead, than you do alive--ripped off Tuna Melt, a two bit indy character that you half-baked up...what? Five, six years ago? Honest to God, it's as if General Motors were accusing Marvel of plagiarism because they produce the Chevy Nova. You're giving talentless, obsessed people everywhere a bad name. PAD

Por esos días, AlexMetl seguía vociferando en otros foros, donde aseguraba, en altas que:

NO ES LO MISMO QUE DARK HORSE Y DC RESPENTEN LOS DRECHOS EDITORIALES DE MILLER, MIGNOLA, GAIMAN Y OTOMO. A QUE UN MUCHACHITO (SEGUN ELLOS) LES VENGA A PEDIR LECHE. DARK HORSES Y DC ME QUERIAN HACER FIRMAR UN MUY CHINGON CONTRATO, DONDE LES CEDO LOS DERECHO EDITORIALES DE MI PERSONAJE, SI QUIERO ALGO CON ELLOS. ASI DE FACIL.

Por estos días, y gracias a que "no se pasen de lanza" no se puede traducir al inglés, se populariza el legendario Don't happen of lances, que hasta hoy acompañan al maestro Cruz, y claro, se dio tiempo para contestarle al naco de Peter David con una hiriente frase que en realidad, no tiene traducción a ningún idioma:

Heeey The great master PAD-Adams the defender of marvelian honour is here, jajaja, you are one of my teachers man. Heeey proletariat writer, I think that you are on strike. Okay, what demons, for respect I respond quickly to all the comic-boys of this fanny topic. (and to PAD too)

"What demons", jajajajajaja. Después de esta hiper-idiotez, Peter David le reviró:

Look, Alex--I've already been deluged with e-mails from your fellow countrymen, none of whom have anything positive to say about you. You're perceived as an idiot in multiple countries. Some congratulations are in order, I suppose: The last truly international idiot to come onto the scene required the aid of the Supreme Court to get there. You accomplished it all on your own.
The point is: You're doing yourself no favors. If your goal is to provide entertainment to the fans who are, I assure you, laughing at you, then keep right on doing what you're doing. Personally, I hope that--at the very least--you seek out the psychological help you clearly need so desperately.

La traducción más corta a lo anterior es "0 sea estupido, callate y largate al psiquiatrico". Pero, como te diste cuenta, Alex no es de esos que se dan por vencido, así que a lo largo de 20 páginas, siguió brindandole alegrías a los "gringitos envidiosos", "lolimanganimes amantes de Liefeld y Lee", "metichotes envidiosos cerebros papafrita" a quienes les hace falta una dosis de H-u-b-i-c-a-t-e, y claro, de una sabrosa tortilla, porqué según Alex, que estudió mucha historia:

The sope is a tortilla (small pizza) with meat, vegetables and cheese that ate the Aztecs. Maybe the Aztecs are the precursors of the Italian Pizza.

Ejem, Así es, los aztecas ya degustaban el queso fundido como pueden ver. Incluso se da tiempo para presumir en Newsarama que en México también es otra celebridad de los foros:

"Oh men, not the tona- thread of comitle forum, All at that forum think that I to offend to God for make a copy of Batman and that I am the messiah that shall be the saviour of Mexican Comic and more stupidity, and this thread in other Mexican forum was worse, and this new thread in other Mexican forum is a new aventure to me. So my gringo friends, the Mexicans want a mexican watchman dark hero and Tonametl (tuna-sandwich-man) is the suited to the job (is a madness, but what hell)".

Ajajajajaja. Dios, en fin....
Alex en Newsarama diciendo animaladas
Más de Alex en Newsarama
Alex en Atomix